steadyDo you message dudes back the second they message you? Let a suitor take you out on a Wednesday night?   Have you and your date split the bill, like the equal, working adults you both are?  Well guys, YOU’VE EFFED IT UP REAL GOOD.  Or so says Maya Ezratti, relationship expert and certified “Rules” dating coach. If you’re unacquainted with The Rules, you’ll get a very good primer here. Maya minces no words and pulls no punches as she coaches Chloe, guest-host and guinea pig for this week’s Fly on the Wall. 

Listen to this: Dating According to The Rules 


Chloe’s had relationships and gone on plenty of dates, but she’s on a bit of a dry spell at the moment–mostly due to the fact that she has a successful career while also going back to school for interior design.


Chloe’s not entirely sure about this approach.

Enter Maya.  Maya discovered The Rules when she was younger, and was instantly drawn to the no-nonsense approach to romance.  She is now a true-believer  in this doctrine, which according to The Rules website, “… is a way of dating that really works. Unlike other books and philosophies that preach “do whatever you want” and “anything goes,” The Rules offers a concrete set of do’s and don’ts so you can actually land the guy of your dreams.”

maya ez

Maya IS very sure about this approach.


“The Rules weed out all the bad guys. The jerks. The sociopaths. The buyer-beware guys,” Maya tells Chloe.  Sounds great…pray tell what magic rituals must we follow to protect ourselves from the A-holes?


Hoooo boy.  Basically, just stop doing everything you’re used to doing.  Like responding to a fella’s text or email BEFORE 24 hours have past. Or saying yes to a proposed date on a night other than Saturday.  “You want SIX CONSECUTIVE SATURDAY NIGHTS” Maya commands. Or pursuing your interests and hoping that you’ll meet some guy who’s into what you’re into.  Nope, chuck that progressive mindset gals.  If your dance card is still empty, you gotta go where the boy are at.


You KNOW you want to putt around with these dudes.


Maya is adamant.  Go to that golfing green. Or sporting event. Or gym class. The one full of sweating dudes.   And once they do ask you out, you make damn sure you look as gorgeous as possible, and end that date first–event if it’s the best date of your life, even if you’ve got nowhere to go.   Absolutely no laughing and lounging for hours upon hours.

Before Sunrise

“Jesse, I’m having an amazing time with you, but I’m so sorry, I have to go–I have a suuuper early pilates class in the morning”

Needless to say, some of this advice went against the grain of our modern day feminist sensibilities.  AND YET….”People don’t call me up because they just wanted to tell me how great their dating life is,” says Maya. “They call me because they want help.”  And The Rules is Maya’s answer.  Like them or not, they are clear-cut and simple. And they accept and consider that simplistic part of human nature that is always just a little bit more interested in what it can’t have (at least, not right away).


So, where does this leave Chloe?  We’ll see if she starts applying some, or all, of The Rules as she continues on her dating life.   In the meantime….we want to hear from you.  Is Maya’s mindset old-fashioned, gender-normative nonsense?  Or is it simply shrewd advice that one should stop fussing over and follow?