From our friend Rebecca at Smug Mommy
Horrible Bosses 3: Would you apply?
Your Basic Parenting Rant : Nothing new, just the hardest job ever on the planet.
Your Boss: SUPER cute. You kind of melt when he looks at you. He looks cute in khakis and a button-down, but also in jeans and and polo. Emotionally needy, physically disabled (needs help eating and getting anywhere), violent, prone to mood swings. Will hug and kiss you occasionally, or stick his hands down your shirt. Disorganized, short attention span, has trouble grasping basic concepts or solving even the most simple problems. Socially unable to function in any normal way. Extremely confident, never humble, constantly disappointed.
Job Description: Personal Assistant. No vacation or sick time without guilt or bartering. A 24 hour commitment, your job consumes all aspects of your life, and you can only maintain other hobbies or friendships while the boss is sleeping – but you’re usually too tired to do so. Despite this, you’ve never loved a boss with such fierceness, would never quit, and would rather cut your arm off than imagine it. You yearn for a day off, but when you are gone you feel nauseas and look at pictures of your boss on your phone. Your boss is often and suddenly frustrated and you need to try to explain general life concepts like time and space or hot and cold. When you fight with your spouse about work-life balance, blood shoots out of your eyeballs and the only reason you don’t kick him to the curb is that the boss likes him around for dance parties or playing horsey.
The less education the better as the job is intellectually numbing.
Compensation: oh you actually pay out for this, big time. You can ask for things though, like “can you say mama?” which might be surprisingly rewarding….
Smug Mommy is an irreverent attachment parenting blog. www.smugmommy.wordpress.com