lauren

Lauren

Romanticizer and Geek-in-Residence


by Lauren

I’m having some seriously mixed feeling over Taylor Swift right now.  Please hold me while I work through them. Chances are, you’ve seen Taylor Swift pop up in the media lately.  She’s in hyper-drive promoting her new album ‘1989’ …which …first of all, that name depresses me because it’s the year she was born. Which is a few years AFTER I was born. Yet she has eclipsed my fame and fortune levels by…I don’t know….at least….three times as much as mine.   So that makes me not like Taylor.

taylor swift white profile picture sunglasses 1989 album cover me made

Uughhh is there anything worse than a 24-year-old billionaire??

BUT.  She’s pretty effing talented.  She writes her own songs.  She’s earned her fame, much more than many other pop stars (did Britney write ANY of her songs?  Does Ariane Grande Latte?  I’m not sure, but I doubt it.) So….I have to give the girl props.

 

Fiiiiine. She's talented.

Fiiiiine. She’s talented.

But then there’s the whole switcheroo from the  “aw-gee-shucks I’m just a spiral-tressed ingenue from the country singin’ sawngs about luv” girl….to POP PRINCESS with sleek bangs who is ALL about shaking things OFF And Listening to THIS SICK BEAT.  I don’t know. It feels inorganic and manipulated an MEHHH to me.

 

 

Apparently you CAN take the country out of the girl...as long as it's part of her multi-billion dollar plan to take over the world...

Apparently you CAN take the country out of the girl…as long as it’s part of her multi-billion dollar plan to take over the world…

BUT you know what, good for her. Good for her for doing what she wants and taking control of her destiny and fortune by creating an empire and being a savvy businesswoman. I mean so many young women in her position could be manipulated or corrupted by the evil powers of show business…but she seems to keep a cool head on her shoulders.  So…props, Tay-tay.

 

Okay she does seem like kinnnnd of a sweet-heart.  I dunno.

Okay she does seem like kinnnnd of a sweet-heart. I dunno.

EXCEPT can you STOP with this face.  PLEASE, for the love of God.

tswift

tswift2

 

taylor-swift_press-2013-650

I mean dear GOD it’s like you only have one expression.  I can’t handle this look anymore. Yeah, you have the cattiest cat-eyes the world has ever seen, and the rosebuddiest lips known to humankind, but….seriously, can you just stop with them?

I have TAYLOR FACE FATIGUE.

Thanks for listening, folks.