Romanticizer and Geek-in-Residence

by Lauren

I’m a sci-fi and fantasy geek.  I love a good flick that centers on magic and mythical creatures and eye-popping, epic fantasy-scapes.  And yet–let’s just come out and say it.  The entire pantheon of J.R.R. Tolkein-inspired, Peter Jackson-directed films are the cinematic equivalent to taking two giant cap-fuls of full-strength NyQuil.


That’s right, dwarf guys. Send me off into blissful slumberland….

I didn’t think this when I first watched the LOTR movies in the theater back in….dear god…2001-2003.  But I can tell you that any time I’ve tried to watch them since…I have been unable to finish them out.  I can’t quite even wrap my head around those who can stay awake for the Director’s Cut versions that are each a spritely 5 hours long….No, even just the regular cinematic release versions are just…not…finishable.

Recent case in point–my husband and I tried watching the Desolation of Smaug on demand this weekend.  We had not prepared well–both of us having eating large dishes of hearty pasta before-hand, and unwisely opting to lay fully horizontal on our corresponding couches. Big Mistake. Huge.

The opening shots began, and the overbearing symphonic soundtrack began its lullabye….solemn, murmured, middle-earthy dialogue began, and my eyelids began to weigh several pounds.  Soaring shots of guys in costumes running along rocky paths….Gandalf looking wizened and keen-eyed…some orcs being mad and orc-y….and ….that was it. We were done for.  An anesthesiologist’s mask of gas would have been less effective.


Frodo gets it.  How can anyone stay awake for this stuff?

Frodo gets it. How can anyone stay awake for this stuff?