I have a big fat #Rant about the phrase “my gay.”
If you are unfamiliar, I believe it to be an emboldened abbreviation of the “My gay husband” nonsense which has been circulating for years. At first I would only hear this coming out of the collagen filled lips of Real Housewives of <insert city>, but it seems to be picking up steam, and so, in turn, is my rage filled brain.
Some of you may be thinking, that it’s all in good fun, and that gay guys don’t seem to mind, and to that I say…this: I am not a humorless kill joy. I like an irreverent non PC joke as much as the next gal, but there is a whiff of micro aggression in this little nickname. It has the “My Asian friend” stink, of a joke that was perhaps funny once, between two people somewhere, maybe trying to bring levity to the realization that their social circle lacked diversity. Fine. Now let’s let it go, because continually forcing people to laugh at themselves at the risk of seeming uptight is kind of sinister.
“My gay husband” began before same sex marriage was permitted as widely as it is now so that adds an extra element of ick to it.
Here we are now in a brave new world of marriage equality and we are calling our gay friends our fake husbands, or simple “our gay.” I also feel that it commoditizes gay men, and makes them into some kind of must-have accessory. I have many friends who are gay men, but I am aware that I don’t speak for them, I rant for I am offended! Okay, I have fun to ruin elsewhere but I’ll leave you with this.