As Lauren is on her maternity leave with Harriet, Maayan enlists the help of one of her dearest friends, Kate, to come on the show and talk about one of her current favorite pop psychology book, The Soulmate Secret by Arielle Ford. They breakdown the concept of soulmates, Kate shares the success (YES, SUCCESS!) she’s had with the book – it may be cheesy and bizarre but it also freaking worked and taught some INCREDIBLE life lessons.
Listen to this : Soulmates
Things we discussed:
Melissa Dahls’ article, “The Case Against ‘Soul Mates’” – how believing in this may actually hurt you more than help you…(how about the person being your best friend instead)
The Science of Finding Your Soulmate – awesome read by BrainPickings.com which explores the question of what if everyone actually had a soulmate – what would that look like?
10 Elements of a Soulmate, from this HuffPo article:
- It’s something inside
- You just get each other
- You fall in love with his (or her) flaws
- It’s intense
- You two against the world
- You’re mentally inseparable
- You feel secure and protected
- You can’t imagine your life without him (or her)
- You look each other in the eye
Arielle Ford’s Book, The Soulmate Secret – key items Kate mentions
Make a Treasure map like a visualisation board
Getting ready –
Is there someone I still hold a candle for / is there someone I’m angry with / is there room in my life for another person/ Am I physically ready
You write letters to any past lovers where you feel an incompleteness and then write a letter from their perspective to you
Feathering the nest –
Saging your home – get photos and any items from a previous partner out of bedroom.
Feng shui – it’s important. Setting up a LOVE corner (images of love, 2 of everything)
Living as IF –
living as if you are in a relationship or trusting that you know they are on their way
THE LIST – what do you want in a partner the yes no’s maybe’s
Remembering there is a fine line between what we want and becoming rigidly attached to our wishes… we have to trust that the World/ Universe is meeting our needs
Make your list and release it to the World… put it in a drawer… file it away in your computer… don’t look at it again..
IN any case, approach it with joyful anticipation rather than NEED… neediness doesn’t do you any favours nobody wants to be around someone who behaves like a stray cat to a saucer of milk… take control of your life and enjoy the process.
Unhooking the past –
This is about letting the healing begin and the power of forgiveness – releasing the past so you don’t bring it into a new relationship.
Write a letter of forgiveness to yourself
Do a bath ritual for releasing the past
Then – Take Action
Enjoy the waiting game and FALL IN LOVE WITH YOURSELF become your own lover, your own friend your own playmate. fill up your life with things that you enjoy that you love.
When you truly love yourself you no longer are willing to compromise your standards because you value your happiness— you’re not interesting in dating Mr Almosts or Mr Potential in order to find Mr Right !!!!
For more fun times click here for a QUIZ to test how cozy you are with the idea of soulmates.
Kate has two #TIPS: An inspiring Rumi quote and putting things on your fridge as reminders.
Maayan has a #RAVE: About how easy it is to make polenta…and how delicious